Happy Fathers Day!

  It is fathers day today and to all fathers out there happy fathers day! especially to the father of all fathers God! thank you for making us to live our life in this world. I am thanking him for giving me a chance to have a life on this earth.

   I woke up early today because we are going to mass at 7:30 in the morning. When I woke up I checked my phone and there was a messaage that made me wake up eagerly... hahaha... it was a message from a friend that is greeting my dad a happy Fathers day.... We went on through the day, went to mass and went to the cemetery (ugh! layo sa manila memorial dasmarinas cavite) thats mywhole day.... ( minsan lang ako magkwento ng araw ko pero karugtong ito sa i bloblog ko hahaha...)

   It was very odd for me when I recieved the message.... I was lonely... I was shocked... I dont know what to feel when i read the message... I dont blame the texter because they dont know that my father died when I was still a little boy... (ok Lang un) Come to think of it i was lonely because I do not have a dad anymore... I dont feel the feeling that a child does when his dad was happy when he greeted him a happy fathers day... I do not have the feeling of a child that is thought by his dad to ride a bike, the one that encourages you to stand up even if you fell, the one that tells you to move on even if you are inches away on giving up the feeling that you are comforted by your dad when you got a wound when you crash... well thats life.... I think I am writing this blog because again I cant understand what I am feeling right now... mixed emotions again... Yes I am thankful for everyone that helped me to move on, who proxy every dadly things just for me and my sister (my dad died when my sister is still in my mothers womb she did not saw our father...) My mom who tried her best to be a mother and a father for us (happy Fathers day!) My auntie (MOMMY KO!) she is my father because she is taking care of us because my mom is working abroad... and for my other father (YAYA KO SINCE BIRTH hahaha...) I love you all.... but even if these people takes the place of my dad no ever takes his place at my HEART... I think even if there are these people that makes me feel the things that my dad never had done to me... I think never beats the real thing... the real father that makes his son happy for things that he knows his son blames himself at the mistake... the dad that you run to when you feel depressed and no one to help you, when your mom is scolding at you no one beats her temper than your loving dad who never leave your side when you are feeling unsafe... the dad that drives you to school everymorning even if they are out of the way... the dad that drives you and your friends and treats everyone because it is your birthday just to make you happy even if he has work... the feeling of a father that cuts your hair even if you dont like it just for him to do that makes me feel that i am the most handsome person in the world  (example lang inggit lang ako) i like to feel the feeling of that things... I know all of you love your dad and your dad loves you too...

I think I just envy those people who have dads but never to think what the things there dad has been doing to them and not just say a little I love You for there help...

Even if my dad is in heaven I know that he is at my side everyday to keep me safe...                             I love You Papa!

I have learned a lot in these past years. I learned how to live, how to enjoy, how to love, how to find, how to loose, how to fall and how to move on. People helped me so I can be the one I am now. They helped to strive hard in my everyday journey, you know who you are and for these I thank you. I have been down and you people helped to stand up. I had lost a wing and you guys helped me find it. And when I had a broken heart you guys helped me to heal it. In this life journey you must find the true persons who you can trust you body, your actions and your life. I found them, and I like being with them. I can count on them whenever I need them. From the start the people I lost and regained again, from those who stayed and never left, for those people who tried their best to make my life happy and for those people who are always there… Thanks…  

 I just found out may kambal pala ako!

grabe iba pala ung feeling nang nalaman mo na may kambal ka... kamukhang kamukha ko. nakita ko siya kahapon grabe as in kamukhang kamukha ko well... mas pogi ako.. ako ung naka polo wag kayong malilito sa amin.

why is it everytime I see her memories keep rushing in?

time cant heal a boken heart.... thats true.... why is it that people say that they are all over but deep down inside it is not... today is Valentines day... why is it that everytime I see her memories keep rushing back... you want to offer her a flower for your affection but things can not be as easy, like that. people say that things change, if someone looses someone gains and thats what happened... is it an expression that you are over....????

Time can not heal...... so what is the medicine of this broken heart of mine.... should I talk to her about this... If I did things maybe more complicated between us.... Is the solution, finding another girl.... It is not that easy for the girl you lost is the girl you have been expecting and taking care off for 4 years... It is true that first love never dies... some people do not consider this true.... that saying refers to the person you love first even if you were not together.... like love at first sight.... if you really care for that person it will never die....

people might say I am the corniest person but what the heck I liked the movie...(I will always love you) The movie helped me realize what true love is it is sacrificing everything but the negative part of the story is lying but what the heck it is love they are fighting for.....

http://www.doctorathome.com/love/love.php?e=z5gAu5hjrpfg54--bj-y  <+++ tr it, it helps...

Ghost! Is it real? Ghosts are creature that you can never see but you can feel their presence. Some people can even know what they did in this world, but is it true that some people can see them? Ghosts do their best but why is it that people would not notice them?

Why is it that people do something special things to their special people and then they can not even notice it? People would not recognize it that you truly care. Why is this feeling? Or is it the same for me. That I am doing something for people that can't see me but there is someone there who is giving her best just for me to notice her. Am I looking too far just for me not to notice you? Where are you? Sometimes people are finding love too far, why can we notice that there is somebody meant for us nearer and we just have too find it closer.

Am I a ghost? Or is there a ghost for me that I can't see?

Why is it like this? Yes I am a different person and there is something you can't no about but there is a risk if I told you…… Am I going to take that risk????

Smallville season 2 episode 5 (Dialogue)

"If you really like someone you must accept every part of them"

            "But you can't do that unless the are willing to share every part with you"

"Some people keep some part of themselves hidden so they may not scare other people away"

"If you want to e close to that someone you have to take a risk"

"What if that risk is too big to take?"

Revised Version by Natalie

Sino man pwede nyo po ba akong tulungan? Pakwento kung anon a ang nangyayari? Nawawala po ba ako? O bka nasa utak ko lang? Nung unang araw ang akala ko pag tumahimik ako kaya ko makalagpas sa buhay ng kolehiyo. Balak ko sanang maging isang taong walang kaibigan na pumapasok sa eskwela at umaalis dito na parang nagiisa. Nakatagpo ako ng mga kaibigan, lagi kami magkasamang tatlo (garabe ang saya talaga nung mga araw na un). Nadagdagan kami  at lalong mas sumaya. Para saakin walang makakahigit sa aming samahan pag may hirap nagtutulungan at kung may problema nagdadamayan. Napaka saya ko at nakatagpo ako ng mga kaibigan na ganito……??????????? Hanggang dito na lang wala na akong balak… pwede pakwento ng mga karugtong….?????

I am now lost. I don't know what to do. What happened? Is this the end? I don't know what ever happened to the block I once belonged to. Can any body tell me what is going on? Sometimes I feel like an empty space. I felt the same way I once wanted to feel. I never hoped that it will be like this.

I can not take this, that's why I left. (Not right) hahaha…. Somebody told me that somebody will tell me what was going on. I still didn't know what it was. Sure I can handle the pressure of studying. But I can not handle this pressure I am feeling right now. Is this college life? I thought college life was all about studies, but I was wrong, it also was composed of your peers. Maybe if I just followed what I want to feel at the first day I never had experienced this kind of pressure.

Why is it that everything that is happening I am affected? Maybe I just don't want that my friends are fighting. I want us to be one.

One in surviving college life.

One in making our dreams.

And One as friends forever…. Hahahaha…..

Ahhhhh pls help…………